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Bright

The hardest part of logging into Netflix (or Hulu or whatever) is that there are a lot of movies you can stream, but are you sure you want to? Well, you can leave that decision up to your trusty intrepid movie reviewers now that Alan Smithee will also be reviewing things you can stream! You see, I play a lot of mindless video games on one of my computer’s monitors, while watching movies on the other. That means I watch a lot of streamed movies, and let me tell you, there is some real garbage out there. Here’s a review of what I consider a diamond in the rough: Bright on Netflix.


If ever there were a movie designed to make movie critics hate it, it’s Bright.

Starring Will Smith, Joel Edgerton and Noomi Rapace, Bright is the story of two LAPD officers in a version of LA inhabited by orcs, elves and other mythical beasts. The concept is what if mythical creatures existed, but the world’s history was still pretty much the same. Everything, even good old fashioned racism. Directed by David Ayer (Suicide Squad) and written by Max Landis (Victor Frankenstein), Bright is pure, unadulterated pulp alt-fantasy. The people that are going to have a problem with this movie, are the people who are going to have a problem with this type of movie. I am not one of those people. I love this garbage (don’t miss the Geostorm podcast!). I loved all of the things that came before it, as well: Excalibur, WilliowDemolition Man, and Last Action Hero. Those movies were never intended to win Oscars, they were intended to be fun escapism. The real world is horrible, quit trying make me live in it in my entertainment.

The plot is that there is a magic wand, effectively a handheld nuclear weapon, that can only be effectively handled by genetic wildcards of the Elven and Human races, known as Brights. One has been stolen by an elven cult leader/mob boss, and our intrepid heroes are trying to keep it out of the wrong hands. Their opponents also include latin street gangs, orcish death metal fans, corrupt police officers and society at large. While I listed four movies previously that feel like they influenced this film, no movie could be a better parallel than Blade. Well. No. Spawn. Either, take your pick.

If you liked the way Suicide Squad was shot (meh), then you’ll like how this was shot as well, and the writing is fascinatingly cliche and campy as well. Which brings me to the acting. Without Will, Joel, or Noomi, this movie would have fallen flat on its face, and the critics would have all been right. Somehow, however, their perfect balance of taking things just serious enough, while still having fun, bleeds through the screen and makes this enjoyable.

This is not a good movie.

But I still think you should give it a try. If you haven’t been poisoned by cynicism, then you might just have a lot of fun.

Agree? Disagree? Leave a comment below, or on our Facebook page. If you’d like to see more of these streaming reviews, then strap in, I’m going to do more!

One Comment

  1. Big Guy on Stuff - Tommy Big Guy on Stuff - Tommy January 4, 2018

    Yes. The movie was bad overall, but it was super enjoyable to watch. I hate to admit it, but I think Will Smith is just that good.Now, was he good enough to warrant the 90 mil price tag? Guess we’ll see. I think it was ranked #1 on IMDB for a while (still is), so people are at least watching it I guess.

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